Hello, hello, hello one and all?
Did you miss me? Silly question, of course you all did (don't hate yourselves for admitting it, I don't
). Just wanted to post a brief update on why I've not been around (and it is a big one, well it was for me).
It's not that I've finally dragged myself away from modding on Skyrim (I royally suck at it, but it's addictive as hell!), nor is it that I've finished my leave period from my old job (4 week notice). It's not even that I'm still going insane over this sodding shoulder injury that's STILL getting on my tits.
It's because my mind has been so scattered recently, it's been like a mirror shattered into thousands of pieces and I've been trying to assemble them all one by one, cutting my hands with each shard I handle. This has mainly been down to one thing which caused everything else to snowball.
Cancer.... (don't freak out just yet, the news here is good so read on....
I am genuinely ashamed for the way I've been feeling over this whole issue, as the tests all came back negative. Some things happened, I was told it COULD be cancer, it was highly unlikely due to my age, diet, family history, steak preferences and pooping habits. I was also told that even if it was, it would most likely be a very easily treatable form.
Even so, even though I was certain everything would be negative, I couldn't help shake that feeling, that nagging doubt and I let it plague my mind at work and at home, which is exactly why I still feel bad for it in the first place. So people get diagnosed and are told to sort their will out and say goodbye to loved ones, some, even against all odds, survive and some don't, those people have a new found respect from me, whether they've accepted it and are at peace with themselves, or whether the hardest thing they do is maintain a brave front around their friends and family.
To those of you who are there and have been there, all I can say is you have a mastery of courage I never thought possible, I wish you all the best in everything you do.
Humble pie aside I worried over something that did not happen and I feel like a royal, self centered coward for doing so, but silver linings and all that at least the tests did not go beyond blood work, even if they did take about half a pint.
So yeah....missed you all